#31 Hot Sauce

Some say that variety is the spice of life, well they’re wrong …hot sauce is the spice of life chére. Just ask any self respecting Coonass. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, a bottle of hot sauce is never far away from the kitchen table. When it comes to hot sauce, no food is safe. Some like a dash of hot sauce over their morning eggs, or add a few drops to their gumbo or jambalaya to give it a little kick. The most hardcore hot sauce aficionados even carry their own sauce around with them.

While Tabasco may be the undisputed king of the hot sauces in terms of sales, there are many other popular Louisiana hot sauces, like Louisiana and Crystal. And let’s not forget the thousands of different homemade chow chows floating around Acadiana. Each sauce has it’s own personality and area of strength. Tabasco is great when you want to add some pure heat to your dish, but it tends to overwhelm a dish with its vinegary flavor (a taste that millions of people apparently like). Both Louisiana and Crystal are milder than Tabasco and are great for adding a little spice to your dish without have to face the morning after repercussions (hey, I not above making a poo joke). If you want to start a fight with a Coonass, just tell him that your favorite hot sauce is better than his.

I don’t want to hear about this hot sauce that’s a million times hotter than the ones here. It’s no big trick to make a novelty hot sauce that’s too hot to taste. What’s hard is to make a hot sauce that people actually want to add to their foods, that people actually crave. Cajun food has been stereotyped as anything that’s either blackened or super spicy. Major restaurant chains regularly pull “Cajun” versions of dishes out of their bag of marketing tricks. Most of these dishes are made by simply adding tons of spice to the original dish, and hope their customers don’t know the difference. Any true Coonass knows that while out food is well seasoned, it’s seldom too spicy to eat.

When it comes to hot sauce, there’s no right answer. You just have to go with your gut…or butt (see, I did it twice).

Becoming an Honorary Cajun

Feeling a bit left out reading these posts? Have you been living in Cajun country for the last few years, but still don’t quite fit in? Well what you need to do is become an Honorary Cajun Citizen. It’s like being knighted, only better, and your only civic duties are to attend Mardis Gras, the Crawfish Festival, and any event that provides free beer and entertainment.

Requirements:

• Can you speak French? Neither can most of us. It is, however, mandatory to know at least 5 Cajun swear words. Extra points will be given for creativity.
• Peel at least 20 crawfish per minute, or cpm. Bonus if you suck the heads.
• You sprinkle your conversations with keeyaw and chére.
• You can cook an acceptable gumbo, etouffee, and jambalaya (must be judged by a panel of real Coonasses).
• Do you own a pair of rubber fishing boots? Bonus points if they are white.

That’s all there is to it. If you meet these requirements, then you can swear yourself in by placing your hand on a copy of ‘Talk about Good‘ and shotgunning a beer…and wait for your own Golden Crawfish Award™ to arrive in the mail.

Cajun Study Materials

#15 Poo-Poo Broussard

My Lips is Chapped! It’s a catchphrase recognized by Cajuns all over Acadiana, the Coonass equivalent of “What you talkin’ about Willis”. If you haven’t heard about Cajun sensation Poo-Poo Broussard by now, then you’ve been living under a rock. His appeal is almost universal among Cajuns, eliciting deep belly laughs (and the occasional groan) from all who hear him.

Whether talking about his lip hydration issues, or his considerable lady skills, Poo-Poo’s unique Cajun wisdom always shines through. Poo-poo likes to hand out his witticisms from his porch in the form of PooPooisms, like #49 ‘If someone gives you lemons, make lemonade. If someone gives you the crabs, cook some rice.’ Another favorite PooPooism is #111, ‘they say that a penny saved is a penny earned…but what the hell you gonna buy with a penny…nuthin, that’s what’.

What’s the secret to Poo-Poo’s success? His appeal lies in the fact that he’s a homegrown act, a Cajun making fun of his own kind. Who doesn’t have an uncle or cousin just like Poo-Poo? He’s not the product of a bunch of Hollywood writers laughing at us (think Adam Sandler in Waterboy). And just look at him, he is one smooth dude. From his nice big smile to his sharp attire, he’s like a Cajun George Clooney. All the ladies wanna be with him, and all the men want to be him.

Here’s a good in-depth article on Poo-Poo if you haven’t had your fill of him yet.

Here’s the video that started it all, My Lips is Chapped: