An Open Letter to ‘Dem Crazy Book Publishers

So I turn on the computer and see you gave my cuz over at stuffwhitepeoplelike a $300,000 book deal. Keeyaww! Man I liked to fall on the floor and die laughing when I read dat.

You couyons coulda had my book for the price of a seafood platter and a box of #2 buckshot! Course, if you want spell checking, you’ll have to upgrade to my Deluxe Package and throw in a new deer stand. What does that get you, you ask? Well, I’ll go all out for you: overalls, white fishing boots, thick accent, the whole deal. You’ll get the 100% genuine Cajun experience. I’ll even wrestle an alligator or eat a raccoon if you think it’ll help sell the book.

In conclusion, give me money and I’ll write you a book. I’ll gaarontee you at least twany entries. We’ll stuff the middle of the book full of old Teche News articles (since nobody reads a whole book anyway). If you want to know more, Just write me here.

Sincerely,

StuffCajunPeopleLike Dude